Dear most-easily-described-as-‘boney’-friend,

You are beautiful. In every way possible. You should know that. And you’re so much more than a “piece of sh*t”. Know that too. You’re worth AT LEAST two pieces. ;)
(Hopefully you caught the obvious sarcasm in that last little bit.)

Also, I’m entirely honored to be one of “your only friends” as you say. Perhaps you don’t have many, but quality vs. quantity, right? (Hopefully we’re good quality.) Because you are most certainly a quality friend, who deserves the same respect. 

tout mon amour,
Steph.

(Yeah that last part had to be in French. I miss it already.) 

You’re allowed to support gay-marriage, and I’m supposed to keep it a secret that I’m homophobic?

People are “born gay” every day, but “no child is born homophobic”?

You’re all about supporting peoples’ lifestyles but you’re the first to shoot mine down?

I’m not saying that I expect you to agree with my “all-powerful word” and bow down to what I say. I’m not campaigning and I don’t expect you to change your opinion based on what I say. But I am expecting you to respect my opinions like you supposedly respect everyone else’s. Don’t shoot me down for having a differing opinion, and most certainly don’t call me closed-minded when you tune out every word that I say from the start.